Bill Lytell is the Pastor of the Gospel Baptist Church in Bonita Springs, Florida. His bio says that he has been married to his wife, Cathy, for over 39 “wonderful” years. One has to wonder just how “wonderful” they’ve been for Cathy after hearing what Lytell recently told women in his church.
To those women in his congregation who do not have “secular” jobs outside the home, he had a lot to say. First, he notes, you are the “manager” of the home. You have a “supervisor” in the person of your husband. Woman, here is your job description:
“You are responsible for buying the groceries, make sure there’s food, make sure the house is kept impeccable. You have a hot meal waiting when your husband gets home, have the house all cleaned up, laundry all done, dishes all done, baby all fed, squared away and meet him at the door looking like a million bucks. That’s probably some of the best marriage advice you ever got.”
No. The best marriage advice I ever got was, “Communication is the most important thing in a marriage.” Since I’m coming up on 34 years, I think that advice was pretty good.
Pastor Lytell apparently lives in 1950s-Land. In that far away place, women have nothing to do all day but dust, vacuum, wash and cook. Oh, and take care of the kids. But, in the real world, things aren’t quite so backwards and life moves faster. Women are not chained to the stove anymore.
Evangelicals and fundamentalists have a higher divorce rate than any other faith group. So how’s that “marriage advice” working out for them? Things are not as sunny in 1950s-Land as Lytell would portray them.
Women often have volunteer work. Some work from home. Some are disabled. Some are just not worried about keeping an immaculate home. Some husbands don’t care about the condition of the house and a hot dinner and think that their wife looks like a million bucks no matter what. Because these couples know that there are much more important things in life.
While it’s nice to have a tidy home and everything “squared away,” if that is all Pastor Lytell believes a woman is good for, then he is a misogynist. A backwards, woman-hating man who is threatened by women who don’t follow his rules. The kind who treat women as breeders and household servants. The kind who are waging a war on women right now. Condoned, of course, by their holy book and advocated by the majority of conservative men.
Life, someone once noted, comes with an expiration date. I don’t know about you, but I want to experience as much of life as I can before that date. If you are disabled, work-from-home or are a stay-at-home mom, the laundry, dishes and floors are always there for you. Travel, music, friends and fun are not: grab experiences when you can. The house will wait. Pastor Bill Lytell be damned.
Here’s the clip:
Featured image via Pixabay