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The 30 Craziest Palin Quotes

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A John McCain advisor once said, “She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone. She does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else. Also, she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party. Remember, divas trust only unto themselves, as they see themselves as the beginning and end of all wisdom.” How could a Vice President candidate be so terrible that a campaign advisor would actually say this about her? Sarah Palin makes it quite easy! We all know there is something seriously wrong with this woman, but have you ever researched the fundamental flaws with her thinking? Let’s take a deep breath, prepare for sarcasm, and step into a world of insanity.

30. “We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada. And I think now, isn’t that ironic?”

Obamacare is evil! But Canadian health care is a gift from God that we need to extend to America. Canadian health care is completely different from Obamacare and socialism, right?

29. “We eat, therefore we hunt”

So, Mrs. Palin, would you describe to me how wolf tastes?

28. “As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border.”

America’s national defense is so weak! We take crap from everyone. When Russia wants to bully us we let them. Sorry, Mrs. Palin, but Putin’s army doesn’t invade America on a regular basis. If they did, the invasion would take place in Colorado.

27. “I like being here because it seems like here and in our last rally too — other parts around this great Northwest — here in New Hampshire you just get it.”

Quick, name the three states that border the Pacific Ocean! There’s California and Oregon, but what’s the northern most state? Oh yeah, it’s New Hampshire! Thanks Sarah.

26. “To win this war, we need a commander-in-chief, not a professor of law standing at the lectern.”

Well, sometimes it’s nice to have a President that actually has ethos on political matters.

25. “We need a foreign policy that distinguishes America’s friends from her enemies, and recognizes the true threats that we face.”

Am I the only person who believes the Axis of Evil clearly distinguished America’s enemies? And the billions in foreign aid we give to certain countries certainly show who we schmooze up to.

24. “I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities.”

Community organizers are so lazy! They never contribute anything of value to America. A community organizer would never have the potential to hold an important leadership position in America. Now, on to a different subject, does anyone know the jobs Obama held before he became President?

23. “Ohh, good, thank you, yes.”

What are you thanking a radio show listener for, Mrs. Palin? For watching the porno “Nailin’ Palin”.

22. “That’s exactly what we’re going to do in a Palin and McCain administration.”

Remember when the Vice President was on the top of the ticket and was more important than the President? Yeah, I don’t either.

21. “I think God’s will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that.”

And God said to Moses, “Build a $30 billion natural gas pipeline in Alaska so that America’s natural gas companies can live long and prosper.”

20. “He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

Don’t worry Sarah! Michelle Bachmann doesn’t know her American Revolution history either. I think it’s time that both of you go back to high school and enroll in Jerry Seinfeld’s history class.

19. “Perhaps so.”

How could two words make it all the way to #19 on this list? Sarah was describing her position on going to war after Russia invaded Georgia. Stockpiling missiles in Cuba? Nope, we didn’t go to war over that. Committing genocide against Ukranian farmers? Nope, didn’t go to war over that either. But invading Georgia?!?! We must declare a nuclear war on Russia for invading a tiny Central Asia country! Seriously Mrs. Palin, this was one crisis that diplomacy was easily able to solve. If we didn’t go to war with Russia the half century after World War II, I think we will always be able to resolve our issues with Russia.

18. “I have not, and I think if you go back in history and if you ask that question of many vice presidents, they may have the same answer that I just gave you.”

In this interview, the question was asked if Sarah had ever met a foreign head of state. All vice presidents, since the first presidency, had met a foreign head of state before being elected Vice President.

17. “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”

This quote seems to be typical conservative bait since it considers Obama to be a genocidal maniac. But it gets extra points on two facts: First, she mentions specific people that Obama will kill with his death panels. Second, she had to specifically state that genocide is bad.

16. “John McCain and I, and our camps, are working together to get John McCain elected.”

Mrs. Palin, I know you’re terrible with court cases and can only name Roe v. Wade. But can you tell me what the 12th Amendment adds to the election process? Hint: it puts the President and Vice President on the same ticket so they actually work together to get elected.

15. “We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. …We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.”

So we’re supposed to separate areas of our country into different groups, similar to high school cliques? Because it sounds like small towns get to be the cool kids who love America, while big cities are the anti-social juveniles who hate America.

14. “And our congressional delegation, God bless ’em. They do a great job for us. Representative Don Young, especially God bless him, with transportation — Alaska did so well under the very basic provisions of the transportation act that he wrote just a couple of years ago. We had a nice bump there. We’re very, very fortunate to receive the largesse that Don Young was able to put together for Alaska.”

God has a special place in his/her heart for earmarks that only benefit campaign donors. It’s impossible to get closer to God in this world than to cynically earmark bills for the sole gain of you and your richest donors.

13. “I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I’m going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also.”

Don’t worry Mrs. Palin! I know that only you can be trusted to talk straight about yourself, so there’s no reason to answer questions that don’t appeal to you. The media has strong liberal bias and are always giving “gotcha” questions.

12. “You’ll be there to defend the innocents from the enemies who planned and carried out and rejoiced in the deaths of thousands of Americans.”

The troops being spoken to were immediately shipped off to Iraq.

11. “They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.”

I know that Canada borders America to the North, but what’s the country bordering us to the South? Afghanistan!

10. “All of ’em, any of ’em that have been in front of me over all these years.”

Mrs. Palin, you’re a genius! How is it possible to read so many newspapers and magazines? If you read all of them, then you’re reading thousands upon thousands of pages a day!

9. “But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.”

I too support Kim Jong-Il and his communist regime. They’re clearly on the right side of history against the evil, democracy-supporting South Koreans.

8. “There’s a place in Hell reserved for women who don’t support other women.”

I agree Mrs. Palin! But if a woman supports Nancy Pelosi, then she’ll go to hell for not supporting you. And if a woman supports you, then she’ll go to hell for not supporting Nancy Pelosi. God has a very elaborate scheme to keep women out of heaven.

7. “‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!'”

Sorry Sarah, but I will have to disagree with the legitimacy of your new word “refudiate”. Refute and repudiate already describe the idea you are trying to convey.

6. “Absolutely. Yup, yup.”

Sarah Palin made this remark when asked if she was ready to be President. In 6th grade, I would answer people with the phrase “yup yup” all the time. But then I realized I sounded like an idiot and stopped. But somehow it seems way more intelligent when Palin says it!

5. “And Alaska — we’re set up, unlike other states in the union, where it’s collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs. … It’s to maximize benefits for Alaskans, not an individual company, not some multinational somewhere, but for Alaskans.”

Alaskans like to share in the wealth of oil companies? Sounds like you should be running on the socialist ticket, Mrs. Palin! I too support the windfall profits tax on oil companies, so I won’t criticize this comment anymore.

4. “I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.'”

This comment was made to a city councilman after Sarah used $50,000 of taxpayer money to renovate the mayor’s office. But I have to give Sarah credit; it’s true that the courts have to stop her from being a dictator. We all know it’s impossible for a mayor to get recalled.

3. “We grow good people in our small towns, with honesty and sincerity and dignity.”

Sarah Palin was quoting a very respectable person when stating this. She was indirectly honoring Westbrook Pegler, a fascist right-wing columnist and Anti-Semite who wished for the assassination of Robert Kennedy. I do not see anything immoral by quoting this man.

2. “As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?”

No worries, Mrs. Palin, I’m sure you’ll perform your job just fine. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing.

1. “When I hear a statement like that coming from a woman candidate with any kind of perceived whine about that excess criticism, or maybe a sharper microscope put on her, I think, ‘Man, that doesn’t do us any good, women in politics, or women in general, trying to progress this country.”

Actually, women can do amazing acts for our country. They are a vital component to our democracy and a welcome addition to politics. Without women our country would suffer and wouldn’t be at the same level of excellence it is today. However, I believe this quote would be spot-on if we replaced the word “women” with the words “Sarah Palin”. Now that would be a better world!

If you would like to read more crazy quotes from conservative politicians, check out Rick Perry: Conservative Dishonest and Hypocrisy at its Finest.

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Edited By: Alexis Atherton