Articles by: Matt Osborne

Rumors Of The Islamic State’s Destruction Were Greatly Exaggerated

Rumors Of The Islamic State’s Destruction Were Greatly Exaggerated

It seems like only yesterday that adjudicated fraud and alleged president Donald J. Trump was tweeting that ISIS had been defeated. Actually, that was less than four weeks ago, but you are forgiven for thinking it was yesterday, since all of Trump’s lies are really just adjuncts of the Big Lie, […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Unpaid TSA Agents DGAF What The Man Thinks About Their Music

Unpaid TSA Agents DGAF What The Man Thinks About Their Music

The people who work to keep air travel safe are not being paid during the government shutdown, so they have stopped caring what anyone thinks about the music they play. Instead of ‘easy listening,’ in recent weeks some travelers have noted an unapologetic — and uncensored — playlist. TSA employees […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Rand Paul Paying A Socialist Canadian Hospital For Hernia Repair

Rand Paul Paying A Socialist Canadian Hospital For Hernia Repair

Libertarian ophthalmologist and Kentucky  Senator Rand Paul has decried the health care hellscape of Canada’s single-payer system throughout his career. In fact, he calls it “slavery.” So it is ironic and totally in line with his everyday hypocrisy that we learn Sen. Paul has scheduled major surgery in Canada. According […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
McClatchy: Michael Cohen’s Cell Phone Was In Prague, Just Like The Dossier Says

McClatchy: Michael Cohen’s Cell Phone Was In Prague, Just Like The Dossier Says

We’ve heard a lot of talk recently about the end stage of the Trump presidency and Robert Mueller’s noose tightening around the neck of the Presidential Apprentice. It’s been a frustrating wait, but there are signs that the damning truth is finally ready to emerge. Your latest indicator is this […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
How Undocumented Alien Mark Burnett Made The ‘Presidential Apprentice’ Possible

How Undocumented Alien Mark Burnett Made The ‘Presidential Apprentice’ Possible

I have always said that reality television would be the downfall of western civilization. According to Patrick Radden Keefe at the New Yorker, the man who made Donald Trump’s cultural comeback possible is downright proud of putting all of humanity in danger. Keefe details how Mark Burnett, the producer behind ‘The […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Merry Christmas, Here Is Your Stock Market Crash

Merry Christmas, Here Is Your Stock Market Crash

The Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 653.17 points when the New York exchange closed at noon today. The S&P 500 had its worst Christmas Eve trading day ever, losing 2.7 percent of its value. Both indexes are officially in bear mode. Merry Christmas! Analysts blamed the broad market decline […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Maybe Now Trump Will Withdraw From Japan To Make Putin Happy, Too

Maybe Now Trump Will Withdraw From Japan To Make Putin Happy, Too

In his yearly press conference, Russian President of the United States Vladimir Putin told reporters yesterday that the American military presence in Japan is “complicating the search for a formal peace treaty between Moscow and Tokyo.” Such a treaty would finally end territorial disagreements dating all the way back to […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
CNN Has Receipts For ‘Trump Tower Moscow’ Campaign Collusion

CNN Has Receipts For ‘Trump Tower Moscow’ Campaign Collusion

Former beauty pageant owner and alleged president Donald J. Trump signed a letter of intent to build a Trump Tower Moscow in October 2015, after he had declared his candidacy and signaled his willingness to give Russia sanctions relief but before the Iowa caucus. CNN host Chris Cuomo displayed Trump’s […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Wall Street Bracing Itself For The Trump Recession Of 2019

Wall Street Bracing Itself For The Trump Recession Of 2019

The bears are back. “Both the Dow Jones Industrial Average and the S&P 500 are on pace for their worst December performance since 1931, when stocks were battered during the Great Depression,” writes Michael Sheetz at CNBC. “The Dow and S&P 500 are down 7.8 percent and 7.6 percent this month, respectively.” Indeed, the Dow […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Trump CAUCUS

The Trump Crime Family Is ‘Surrounded’ In Their White House Hideout

“Two years after Donald Trump won the presidency, nearly every organization he has led in the past decade is under investigation,” Washington Post reporters noted yesterday. Citing “a cascade of legal challenges that threaten to dominate Trump’s third year in the White House,” David Farenthold, Mat Zapotosky, and Seung Min […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Trump Shares His Impeachment Terror With ‘Friends’ Who Share It With All Of Us

Trump Shares His Impeachment Terror With ‘Friends’ Who Share It With All Of Us

Serial adulterer and alleged president Donald J. Trump has confided to a number of close friends that despite his brave face in public, he is terrified by the prospect of impeachment. Of course, the fact that people Trump considers friends all saw fit to tell NBC News about their private […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Grandma Pelosi Shuts Trump Down Like An Angry Toddler And We Are So Here For It

Grandma Pelosi Shuts Trump Down Like An Angry Toddler And We Are So Here For It

Former reality show star and alleged president Donald Trump tried to bully Democrats into funding his fantasy border wall today by threatening a government shutdown over Christmas. He even took the rare step of bringing the press into the Oval Office to televise his meeting with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck […]

by Matt Osborne· · Information and Resources
Trump, Obamas Share World’s Most Awkward Handshake At Bush Funeral

Trump, Obamas Share World’s Most Awkward Handshake At Bush Funeral

Admitted sexual assaulter and alleged president Donald J. Trump just had the world’s most awkward handshake with Barack and Michelle Obama. In a video clip for the ages, the Trumps arrived at the funeral of George H.W. Bush and sat next to the Obamas, as is normal protocol. Being incredibly […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Glenn Beck Merges With Mark Levin, Joins Founder Of Violent ‘Proud Boys’

Glenn Beck Merges With Mark Levin, Joins Founder Of Violent ‘Proud Boys’

Gavin McInnes, the co-founder of Vice Media who became an alt-right superstar only to abandon his association with a violent gang he had created, will be joining the new company formed by a marriage of two conservative media empires. Glenn Beck, the former Fox News conspiracy theorist, is joining his […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Putin And The Saudi Prince Ignore Trump Like An Ex-Boyfriend At Prom

Putin And The Saudi Prince Ignore Trump Like An Ex-Boyfriend At Prom

Reality show star and alleged president Donald J. Trump looks so sad watching his ex-boyfriend across the prom hall, doesn’t he? The death of George H. W. Bush is giving an embattled Trump cover to cancel press events today and avoid questions about Russian collusion, but Vladimir Putin’s spokesman is […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Trump: I May Have ‘Lightly’ Colluded For Moscow Tower During The Campaign

Trump: I May Have ‘Lightly’ Colluded For Moscow Tower During The Campaign

Reality show star and alleged president Donald J. Trump woke up this morning, took a breath, and started tweeting about yesterday’s news that his pursuit of a Trump Tower Moscow continued all the way through to July of 2016. Oh, I get it! I am a very good developer, happily […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Height Of Arrogance: Trump Only Casting Tall Economists On ‘Presidential Apprentice’

Height Of Arrogance: Trump Only Casting Tall Economists On ‘Presidential Apprentice’

It pays to read to the end. In the penultimate paragraphs of this Washington Post interview, we learn that reality show star-turned-alleged president Donald J. Trump is casting the role of Federal Reserve chair according to height. Trump considered reappointing [Janet] Yellen to the post, and she impressed him greatly during […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Mississippi ‘Hanging’ Senate Candidate Has Always Been A Confederate Rebel

Mississippi ‘Hanging’ Senate Candidate Has Always Been A Confederate Rebel

The full story of Cindy Hyde-Smith, Republican incumbent in the race for Thad Cochran’s US Senate seat, is coming into focus at last, and it turns out she was always a rebel in the southern sense of that word. As a child, Hyde-Smith “attended and graduated from a segregation academy […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Hoover, AL Cops Kill ‘Good Guy With Gun,’ Let Mall Shooter Escape

Hoover, AL Cops Kill ‘Good Guy With Gun,’ Let Mall Shooter Escape

It took nearly a full day for Hoover police to admit they had killed the wrong man. Following an altercation at the Riverchase Galleria mall in Hoover, Alabama on Thanksgiving night, someone shot an 18-year old victim multiple times and wounded a 12-year old bystander. Rushing to the scene, a […]

by Matt Osborne· · News
Trump Defends Cindy Hyde-Smith ‘Hanging’ Comment Because Of Course He Does

Trump Defends Cindy Hyde-Smith ‘Hanging’ Comment Because Of Course He Does

Surprising absolutely no one who has been paying attention for the last three years, our white nationalist president has decided to double-down on his support of a US Senate candidate who “joked” about her eagerness to attend a “public hanging” (read: lynching). “Cindy Hyde-Smith is a spectacular woman. She’s a […]

by Matt Osborne· · News