John Boehner Just Hit Peak ‘F*ck It’ And Became A Weed Dealer

Former GOP House Speaker John Boehner has decided to adapt to the Trump era in the best way possible — by selling weed.

In 2009, Boehner was “unalterably opposed” to marijuana (legal or otherwise) but now that there’s a financial incentive, he’s suddenly all about it! Boehner has joined the advisory board of Acreage Holdings, a company that “cultivates, processes and dispenses cannabis in 11 U.S. states” according to Bloomberg.

“Over the last 10 or 15 years, the American people’s attitudes have changed dramatically,” Boehner said in an interview, dollar signs flashing in his eyes. “I find myself in that same position.”

“When it comes to an issue like this, that has what I’ll call murky legal issues and political issues, we’re there to provide advice to Acreage in terms of how they work with state and federal governments, how they work with local governments and advice on what states look promising,” Boehner said.

Now that there’s a financial incentive, Boehner will devote his life to working to legalize medical marijuana — a noble goal, if his sole motivator wasn’t green pieces of paper.

This news comes following Boehner’s replacement Paul Ryan’s announcement that he is quitting.

Naturally the world finds this all kinds of hilarious and interesting:

At this point, we can only assume that we are living in some weird parallel universe where up is down, left is right, Trump is President, and hardcore marijuana opponents now suddenly don’t believe the lies they spent their careers spewing.