Trump Supporter Tries To Burn Steelers Flag, Hilariously Can’t Figure Out Fire (VIDEO)

Trump supporters have been losing their minds over Trump’s assault on the NFL, with many abandoning their teams and publicly destroying merchandise they’ll have to re-buy in three weeks when their “boycott” fails like so many others. Claiming to be outraged at nonexistent “disrespect to the flag” while crapping all over the freedoms it represents, conservatives are clearly mad at something.

One such Trump supporter is in the video below.

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a Steelers fan,” she begins. “But I’ve been American longer than that.”

It’s unclear how she knows this, considering we’ve already established Steelers fandom as the beginning of her memory. Moving on!

“Coach Tomlin, I read what you said, and the fact you said that ‘people shouldn’t have to make a choice.’ What’s the difference between making the choice between stupidity and standing for our American flag?” she continues, executing her poorly-rehearsed lines with all the confidence of someone who does not have a single honest friend.

“What’s the choice between stupidity and standing for those who fought and died? And who stand at the stadium that you’re at today and protect your sorry ass?”

It’s unclear what she’s talking about. She’s referencing Mike Tomlin’s decision to keep his team in the locker room instead of coming out on the field before last Sunday’s game. He made that decision because he did not want to see his team divided. Before the NFL started taking payments from the Department of Defense to promote jingoistic (“patriotic”) themes, it was common practice for teams to remain in the locker room during the anthem. At the high school and college level, many teams still do.

The torture continues afterward, her awkward lines paired perfectly with her body language, which closely resembles that of a broken marionette in the care of a drunken puppeteer:

“Well, from now on, I’m done with the Steelers. I stood for you guys, I fought for you guys, I argued for you guys. Living in Maryland! And this is what I get in return?”

It’s unclear when she “fought” for them guys. Perhaps when the quarterback, Roethlisberger, was accused of rape? Or maybe it was that other time he was accused of rape.

She then proceeds to melodramatically rip her Steelers shirt off, uncovering – gasp! – a Trump shirt. “Go to hell,” she says, “all of you. The only flag that’s going to fly in my house anymore is the United States flag.”

At this point, although it’s not too relevant to the story, I would like to pause and point out that the person filming the camera hates her. They must, right? It’s the only reasonable conclusion to draw from the following two facts: 1) This video was filmed vertically, and 2) This video was filmed. Nobody stopped her. Nobody was like “hey, no, maybe you shouldn’t post it to the internet.”

Yet posted it was. It’s at this point in the video she begins trying to light the Steelers flag on fire.

“Not the Steelers flag,” she absentmindedly adds, beginning her struggle with the confusing concept known as fire. Forty arduous, failure-filled seconds later, and she begins talking again, a nearly invisible wisp of smoke curling from the flag.

“This is just like a rag now, just like your team. A rag,” she says, holding the torn shirt over the smoldering (ish?) flag, trying to get it to light as well. It doesn’t. The flag goes out. And then, she drops the shirt on top of it, perhaps finally confronting failure.

“Go to hell Steelers. Go to hell NFL. Piss off. God bless America. God bless Donald Trump. God bless America. Done,” she finishes.

The whole thing sounds like an incoherent Facebook rant that one too many hillbilly cousins liked before ol’ trailer park suburbia Sally here got confident and decided it’d make a good video.

Watch below:

Featured image via video screencapture