White Security Guard Shoots Himself, Blames Nonexistent Black Guy ‘With A Small Afro’

On Tuesday night St. Catherine University security guard Brent Ahlers was viciously attacked by an evil black man with a “short afro” who was wearing a “navy sweatshirt” and a gun – at least that’s the story he told police after he suffered a gunshot wound while on the job.

Ahler’s report that he had been shot led to a swarm of 55 police officers and K-9’s, swarming the campus to search for the guy who Ahlers says shot him. The campus was placed on lockdown with “1,800 students held captive in their dorm rooms” according to police spokesman Mike Ernster. The surrounding neighborhood, upon hearing reports of the shooting, began calling 911 in a panic asking officers to check their homes to be sure they were safe.

None of it was true. Ahlers lied. As is commonly the case, there was no scary black man with a gun. There was only Ahlers, who brought his weapon to work to prove to himself that he’s a badass despite it being against policy.

“He was nervous about losing his job due to the fact that he had his gun at work, and what had occurred, so he made up the story to cover what had happened,” Ernster said on Wednesday after police had determined that the shooter was Ahlers the whole time.

For his dedication to keeping racism alive to save himself from being embarrassed by the results of his own actions, he now faces a charge of falsely reporting a crime – though prosecutors are considering charges ” above and beyond the false-report citation” according to the Star-Tribune.

Fortunately, officers did not encounter someone who “fit the description” and no one important was hurt. But he could have gotten someone killed, and whatever he ultimately faces should reflect that.

featured image via screengrab