Well, We’re F*cked — America’s ‘Brexit’ Becomes A Reality As Republicans Win At Every Level

It’s over, folks. Shy a miracle, and despite probably losing the popular vote, Trump has won the election (and wrecked the world economy in the process).

There’s really not much to say about this other than “try not to kill yourself via alcohol poisoning.” The United States of America has entered the Twilight Zone and now answers to President ‘Grab ‘Em By the Pussy’ Trump. Undoubtedly when he “opens up the libel laws,” life will get much more interesting for me, but for now, my job is clear — and so is yours. Through protest and action, every point on the Republican agenda must be stopped.

I don’t know why so many Democrats chose to stay home. I don’t know why so many people thought that “what if burning it all down is really the answer.” For the families of immigrants and for the 11 million forming a vital part of our economy, it wasn’t the answer. For the millions of people who have lost faith in the police and public institutions, this certainly wasn’t the answer. For our allies abroad, this was not the answer. For religious minorities, this was not the answer. For women who have faced public shame at the hands of abusers, for women in general, hell, for people — this was not the answer.

An orange buffoon with the temperament of a spoiled toddler is shortly going to be given access to the most powerful nuclear arsenal in the world. Let that sink in for a few seconds.

Along with the obvious electoral bloodshed, Democratic candidates faced a bloodbath in the House and Senate, respectively. You can google the numbers. I’m going to take the time I would have otherwise taken to do that for you here to pour myself another drink and pack another bowl (Oregon remains a liberal bastion, and if that bastard comes for our weed, I’m going to grab that stupid Tea Party flag and scream “states’ rights!” in his face until my throat bleeds. How else are we possibly going to cope with this?).

And thanks to President Obama’s right to a nominee being stolen from him, that means that the Supreme Court will remain conservative — as Trump himself has said, we’ll be getting another Scalia.

Cheers, America. Maybe we deserve this.

Featured image via Getty/Anadolu Contributor