Michigan Republican: We’re Making Gay Sex A Felony To Protect Animals Because Reasons

Recently, an anti-animal abuse bill passed the Michigan state Senate. That’s the good news. Everyone likes to protect animals, right? Unfortunately, the sneaky little bastards in the GOP  decided the bill just wasn’t…human enough. Keeping in line with their long tradition of ruining every single thing they touch, Republicans inserted language into the bill that would make human-on-human oral and anal sex a felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison.

One might assume that  Senate Bill (SB) 219, sponsored by state Senator (R)ick Jones, would at least be further amended to remove language penalizing “sodomy” (oral and anal sex) with a stiff sentence of up to 15 years behind bars. Unfortunately, we apparently live in some bizarre dimension where this sort of backward-thinking idiocy is somehow acceptable.

The legislation states that it is a felony to engage in “the abominable and detestable crime against nature with mankind or with any animal.” While most would agree that it’s probably not appropriate to finger-bang a horse, and that someone who does that sort of thing should probably spend some time away from the rest of society, most Americans also agree that we must not police what goes on in private citizens’ bedrooms.

Law Newz reports that Jones remains steadfast that the language he personally inserted in the bill is not intended to in any way target the gay community, but also maintains that removing the “with mankind” portion will poison the bill:

SB 219 was designed to be part of a larger package of bills known as Logan’s Law.  The law is designed to prevent individuals convicted of animal abuse, animal torture or bestiality from possessing an animal for five years, and during probation, in the hopes the individual will seek mental health treatment.

“People wanted an animal abuse registry similar to a sex abuse registry,” Jones continued.

So why does this latest bill include language that equates anal sex with crimes against nature? Senator Jones maintains it’s just part of the legislative process. He claims that the anti-sodomy language is preexisting Michigan law and has no practical effect.

The “existing law” was deemed unconstitutional thanks to a 2003 Supreme Court ruling, yet he included it anyway.

The law blog continues:

In defiance of stark criticism, Jones claims removing the anti-sodomy language would effectively poison the bill, though it was Senator Jones who included the language in the first place. When asked why he would include the phrase “crime against nature with mankind,” Jones said, “in order to write that law, we had to go into a section of law, the bestiality section, which has sodomy in it and has been there forever. It has nothing to do with it.”

Oddly, these lawmakers seem completely unaware that the water in Flint is literally poison — or, they simply don’t care.

Conservatives’ obsession with gay sex is creepy at best, criminal at worst. Hopefully, on election day, voters remember this blatant attempt to pass legislation criminalizing homosexuality — because Republicans get scarier by the day.

Hopefully, lawmakers in the Michigan state House have a little more sense than their counterparts in the Senate.


Featured image via LawNewz