ROFL: An Adult Film Company Just Offered To Make Ted Cruz’s Bizarre Dreams Come True (Letter)

A video that recently surfaced of a young Ted Cruz has raised some eyebrows. The creepy little Cruz, aside from declaring his aspirations to be rich, powerful and to take over the world, also expressed an interest in making a “teen tit film,” because he’s the perfect Christian. Yes, your sarcasm alarm went off for a reason.

Well now Ted Cruz has been given the opportunity to make his dream come true, thanks to adult film giant, Vivid Entertainment. Big shot at Vivid, Steve Hirsch, has extended an offer for Cruz to star in his very own XXX movie that would most certainly be quite a tad more risqué than an 80’s “tit film.” Hirsh offered to send $1 million to the super PAC of Cruz’s choice in exchange for his services.

This letter to Senator Cruz, obtained by TMZ, lays out the offer, along with a suggested headline for the film, which is nothing short of brilliant and hilarious:

vivid

Courtesy of TMZ

The crack about his home country was a great touch. This is what is called trolling the turd. Mockery at its finest. Ted Cruz, fast becoming the most hated man in Washington, deserves every bit of ridicule he gets. The “family values Christian” who thinks all life is sacred yet supports the death penalty and wants to carpet bomb villages full of innocent people if there’s a hint of a terrorist in the area needs to be brought down a peg or two, especially after his Iowa win.

Would “Cruzin For Bush” be a big hit? It just might be. There must be people out there willing to pay good money to see the world’s most punchable face in action. The real question is, what would he do with his lapel flag?

Kudos to Steve Hirsch for pulling off the troll of the week!


Featured image from Gage Skidmore