‘Not-Racists’ FURIOUS That MLK Memorial Will Be Built At ‘Confederate Mount Rushmore’ (SCREENSHOTS)

Look, by this point, we know conservatives aren’t racist. With every qualifier, preceding or following every statement we might otherwise interpret as bigoted, and sometimes completely randomly, they inform us of this bit of information we sometimes might miss when they are talking about “the blacks” or, in the case of some more prominent right-wing  figures, “the Negro.” But it’s time that you learn about something of great import, America. The state of Georgia is going to allow something terrible to happen: “Confederate Mount Rushmore” is about to become just a few shades darker, and the “not-racists” have leaped to its rescue like a hood-wearing A-Team (You know, minus Mr. T for obvious reasons).

Reuters recently reported that the state’s Stone Mountain Park, home to mountainside engravings of some of the most famous crackers in the South — Confederate President Jefferson Davis, General Robert E. Lee, and General “Stonewall Jackson,” three heroes of the oppressive slave-loving group of traitors who seceded from the Union and waged war on their own countrymen. Of course, to the modern conservative, these people are heroes. If it would not conflict with their alleged love of Jesus, these pillars of the Confederacy would be gods.

Often, appearing as a thinly-disguised protestation based on their love of their Southern Heritage™ or whatever, the “not-racists” of America will protest the removal of a hate symbol, or demand that white people be elevated anytime anyone of another race catches a break in any way. Take the addition of a Martin Luther King Jr. memorial at Stone Mountain, where their precious heroes (the rest of us would call them traitors) are enshrined.

The memorial sounds very nice. It will feature a replica of the Liberty Bell with the inscription  “Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia,” — a line from his “I Have a Dream” speech. All in all, it sounds like a wonderful addition to a national landmark. The plans also include a memorial to black Confederate soldiers — something that should appease the “heritage” crowd, but doesn’t for some reason.

This addition of a bit of color to the mountain is quite fitting, given both the site’s obvious association with figures celebrated by racists (sorry, “not-racists”), and a less obvious reason — Stone Mountain is considered to be the birthplace of the modern Ku Klux Klan, which was revived during the civil rights movement of the 1960’s.

Ray McBerry, spokesman for the Georgia division of The Sons of Confederate Veterans, which is totally not a hate group at all, says that his group is not at all fond of the plan to honor black people at the nice, white, pristine bigot holy ground. According to Mr. McBerry, honoring anyone aside from heroes of the sedition fetishists’ approved list of white folk is a sin and is contrary to the purpose of the park: celebrating “Southern heritage,” a.k.a slavery and hate.

“It’s akin to the state flying a Confederate battle flag atop the King Center in Atlanta against the wishes of King supporters,” McBerry said in an effort to sound like he isn’t completely full of sh*t.

“This is an insult to us,” Tim Pilgrim, head of the organization, told the Journal-Constitution. “This is like the government going down to Auburn Avenue and putting a monument of Jefferson Davis, Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson on top of the King monument. How would supporters of Martin Luther King feel about that?”

Comments under a posting of the Reuters article on Yahoo are pretty much in line with McBerry’s opinion, with “not-racists” weighing in on the issue in the only way they know how: by saying things that, to the uninitiate, may seem a bit racists, but aren’t — because any one of them will gladly inform you he or she is not racist if asked. Some openly plotted to destroy the monument, while others wonder why a black man would be honored at all. Still others expressed their sincere desire that black people stop b*tching about slavery and go back to Africa:

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“Stone Mountain may be required to serve as a Confederate memorial, which makes the subtraction of history difficult,”  Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Jim Galloway wrote in July. “But state law doesn’t rule out the addition of history. To respect the dead is well and good. It is not always wise to give them the last word.”

Conservatives fear change. We know this. Unfortunately, like the removal of a hate symbol from the South Carolina State House or from the Mississippi state flag, this small bit of progress will be fought tooth-and-nail by the “heritage” folks — but, as always, they can go f*ck themselves.


Featured image via Seattle Times/Wikipedia