Here Are Five Jobs Kim Davis Could Do That Don’t Involve Gay Marriage (IMAGES)

Rowan County, Kentucky clerk Kim Davis was back at work on Monday, and still refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. But now she says that she won’t stand in the way of her deputies issuing them. The licenses issued by the deputies will not contain Davis’s name or signature, which means that technically she is still not doing her job. This whole affair would have been a non-issue if Davis had simply resigned when it became obvious to her that she would have an objection to giving gay couples marriage licenses.

But it’s understandable that Davis didn’t want to give up a government position. Good jobs aren’t easy to come by these days, what with companies outsourcing to China and such. Still, if Davis wants to tell people about her Christian faith, and get herself noticed in the process, there are other jobs she could do. As a public service to Kim Davis, and anyone else in a similar predicament, here are five jobs that  would allow her to testify about Jesus and at the same time avoid having anything to do with same-sex marriage.

5. Mike Huckabee campaign worker.

The Huckster was the first GOP presidential candidate to jump on Davis’s bandwagon, and he did so in a big way. Huckabee took to the airwaves to complain that Davis wasn’t granted bail after Judge David Bunning threw her in jail, apparently not realizing that people charged with contempt of court rarely if ever are granted bail. Then he set about defending her by offering the most convoluted and bizarre explanations about how American government works. So, Davis owes him. Since she doesn’t seem to understand our system of government any better than Huckabee does, she probably shouldn’t be a policy advisor. Maybe she can take over for the guy whose job was apparently to block Canadian born Texas senator Rafael “Ted” Cruz from getting onto the stage and sharing in the limelight.

via Texas Tribune/MSNBC and EdgeBoston

via Texas Tribune/MSNBC and EdgeBoston

4. IHOP waitress.

There’s nothing like having a captive audience that you can talk to about your personal relationship with Jesus while you hand them their food. Maybe if Davis asks nicely, after she puts the plates on the table families at IHOP will let her say grace with them. And as a bonus when she serves those folks who always seem to wind up at IHOP on Sundays after church, Davis might be able to get a little hymn sing going: “Oh how I love Jesus, because He hates the gays.”

via Shiftgig

via Shiftgig

3. Walmart greeter.

Everybody knows that nothing says “family values” like “Walmart.” And who is the face of Walmart, the first employee you probably see when you walk through the door? Why, the Walmart greeter, of course. Davis would be a natural. Standing at the door, smiling as customers come in, rubbing little kids’ heads and saying “bless your heart” or “God bless you” for eight hours every day. “Hi, I’m Kim. Welcome to Walmart. You need a cart? By the way, are you gay? No? Well, God bless you, then.”

via FreakingNews.com

via FreakingNews.com

2. Duck Dynasty cast member.

Think about this. The Robertson clan, of Duck Dynasty, has had nothing to say about Kim Davis and her situation. Where are they? It wasn’t long ago that Phil Robertson was telling everyone about how America wasn’t God’s pick of the litter any more because of the gay stuff. This should be a natural alliance. And what a great way to revitalize their show! “Duck Dynasty, featuring new guest star Kim Davis!” Kim can join the gang wearing camo, making duck calls, and shooting little animals for Jesus.

via Zennie Abraham/Flickr

via Zennie Abraham/Flickr

1. Republican congresswoman.

OK, as Fox News and others like to remind everyone, Davis is a Democrat. So she’ll have to switch parties. But what a perfect job for her! She can go to Washington and make speeches about “the gays” to her heart’s content. She can even stay late on the floor of the House, and talk every day about whatever she wants to, during that time they call “special orders,” where only a couple of congresspersons and a very unlucky cameraman or woman are present. It would be like the second coming of Michele Bachmann.

via Wikimedia Commons

via Wikimedia Commons

So you see, Kim, you don’t have to stay in a job that violates your religious convictions. You can get any number of other jobs that will allow you to avoid dealing with two people of the same sex who love each other and who want to get married. But if you want to remain the clerk of Rowan County, then do us a favor. Shut up about your religion, and do your job!

Featured image via RawStory/YouTube