Ted Cruz: We’re Going To Shut Down The Government Again And It’s All Obama’s Fault

It’s that time of year again, folks! The weather is getting colder (and, according to Donald Trump, this disproves global warming), the leaves will soon change color and conservatives are threatening to shut down the government over something ridiculous again. In 2013, the GOP — led by Ted Cruz — worked together to do billions of dollars damage to our economy in what was effectively a temper tantrum over healthcare for all.

Ted Cruz wants you to know two things: He is prepared to spearhead yet another effort to shut down our government, this time over the lie-filled, heavily-edited Planned Parenthood “baby parts” videos that have taken the Stupid Part of America by storm — and no matter what, it’s all Obama’s fault.

“What Barack Obama is doing for Planned Parenthood is radical, it’s extreme, it’s unreasonable,” Cruz told supporters at  Phyllis Schlafly’s Eagle Council convention in St. Louis Saturday. But Cruz knows exactly who would be at fault — and it’s certainly not the 28 Republican men who are threatening to shut down the government over women’s health. According to Cruz, who is threatening to shut down the government, the President is the one actually doing it:

“It’s wrong for Barack Obama to threaten to shut down the government over the issue.”

“Under no circumstances should we spend $500 million … funding Planned Parenthood, which appears to be a criminal enterprise,” Cruz told the crowd.

On Thursday at an anti-abortion rally in Washington D.C., Rand Paul similarly blamed everyone, but the people actually at fault for the hypothetical shutdown. The 2016 hopeful said that the budget for Planned Parenthood should be separated from the funding for the rest of the government, that way Democrats would have to struggle uphill to maintain funding for the health organization.

 “[Democrats] do not have 60 votes to fund Planned Parenthood, so long as we separate the bills,” Paul said. “We should demand nothing less than a separate vote.”

In fact, Paul says, if Democrats don’t make special allowances to cater to Republican paranoia, they only have themselves to blame for another government shutdown:

“[Republicans] should point the finger and say, ‘If you want to shut down the government over spending money on harvesting organs from babies, so be it. But we will take a stand.”

Sarah Palin, who also spoke at the rally, uttered a string of nonsensical garbage about how Republicans would not be to blame if they decided to orchestrate another shutdown:

“The will of the people is for our tax dollars to go toward right priorities for our nation, not toward killing babies. The public needs to hold the media’s feet to the fire if the media starts spinning it that somehow this is the Republicans’ fault because one line item is not a part of this budget — that, by the way, is a bankrupt, busted budget. Bloated.”

Other Republicans echoed the Three Stooges’ sentiments.

“Will the president shut down and defund the troops in order to fund Planned Parenthood?” said Rep. Tim Huelskamp. “I don’t think he’s that politically stupid, but we shall see.” Rep. Walter Jones also said that he won’t “compromise” his “principles” to keep the bills paid. However, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell called the effort to defund the government over Planned Parenthood an “exercise in futility.”

“I’m anxious to defund Planned Parenthood,” McConnell said Friday, but he admits that the idea is unrealistic. “The honest answer of that is that’s not going to happen until you have a president who has a similar view.”

“If you really want to solve the problem, get a pro-life president in 18 months,” said Rep. Tom Cole, who feels that a shutdown would not help anything. “In the interim, I think we can make some progress and do some good things, but the hearings are an important part of educating the public.”

“People remember, we shut down the government over ObamaCare, which was very unpopular,” Cole added. “Planned Parenthood is not unpopular. Its polling is actually very strong. If you’re going to do something that affects funding, you need to make the case.” Rep. Charlie Dent agreed that a shutdown over the issue would be a  “tactical and strategic blunder.”

“I think most of the serious people around here understand that shutting down the government would be a huge error,” Dent said, taking a stab at Cruz, Paul, and other extremists. “Hopefully, there’s enough serious people who can stop those who don’t share a serious sense of governance.”

Dent predicts that, ultimately, Republicans will be forced to vote on a clean bill. “The question is will we vote on it before or after September 30?” he asks. “I propose we vote on it before September 30.”

Are Republicans as stupid as we think they are? Stay tuned, and get ready for a rough ride.

Featured Image via Saint Louis Post-Dispatch