Are YOU Prepared? End Times Nutter Predicts September Apocalypse– Maybe (AUDIO)

For several months now we’ve been hearing apocalyptic predictions from the right. John Hagee has been flogging his “blood moon” nonsense, Michele Bachman thinks that the Iran deal signals the return of Christ who will, of course, have to face down the anti-Christ. Most fundies are convinced that he is President Obama. And, of course, they all think God will punish America for recognizing same-sex marriage as legal.

One of the loudest voices in the end times cheerleading contest is Jan Markell. Her Olive Tree Ministries program is firmly based in Evangelical doomsaying. When she appears on sympathetic radio shows like Today’s Issues, she knows that she will be given free rein to whip up the fear among the sheeple. She did exactly that on her latest appearance, telling listeners to get ready for the End of Days:

“I think because there are about 25 things converging in September. I think the question is: Could all of this be coincidence? Of the 25 — and we can’t go through them all — between the Shemitah, the Jewish high holy days, the Pope’s visit, and so much more, a global government, the discussion of the United Nations at the end of September, the list goes on and on and on and on.”

Well, yes. It could all be coincidence. But not in the land of the True Believer. To them, everything is a “sign” that their mythological apocalypse will come true. And they, as God’s “special people,” will be raptured up to Heaven. Whatever helps them sleep at night…

But these events that have Markell’s flock quivering on their sofas are nothing to be freaked about. The Jewish High Holy days always fall around this time of year. The Jews use a lunar calendar, which makes their holy days somewhat pliable. The Jewish holy days of Rosh Hashanah always fall in the seventh month on the Hebrew calendar. Kind of easy to predict if you’re paying attention.

Likewise, the Shemitah is also easy to predict, since it occurs every seven years. There is nothing supernatural about it; it’s the year in which the land is given a “Sabbath,” a rest from cultivation. There are rabbinical exceptions nowadays but the meaning is the same.

Ah, but this year is also a Jubilee year, the 50th year after seven 7-year cycles. How it will be celebrated in Israel this year — the first time in thousands of years a Jubilee has been observed in that country — remains to be seen. It calls for returning the land to the various Hebrew tribes. That concept has not been a big deal there as it’s hard to tell and doesn’t make much difference anymore. A Holocaust makes those kind of delineations inconsequential. Also in a Jubilee year, debts are forgiven, slaves are freed and God will be really nice to the Jews.

The Pope’s visit? Please. The Papal Calendar is made out very far in advance. Coincidence. The UN meeting to ratify the Iran treaty? Seriously, coincidental. President Obama and the Iranians did not look at the calendar when they made this agreement. Nor did Congress…except for maybe Louie Gohmert.

Markell is not entirely stupid, however. She gave herself some breathing room and an easy out for when September turns out to be just September:

“Having said that, do we go out on a limb and start predicting end of the world type things? I think we’ve got to be really careful with that because, remember, there had been some people who have tried the date setting throughout the last 50 years or so and then those dates don’t come to pass and then Christians stand with egg on their face.”

Too late.That egg has been drying on Markell’s face for years. But she still advises her followers to “be prepared.” Well, that’s always good advice. That’s why the Boy Scouts use it as a motto.

Could some bad things happen in September? Certainly. And some will. But they happen every month. Even months with Jewish holidays. Even in the Shemitah. Even in Jubilee years. Bad stuff happens. Why does bad stuff happen? Because it happens. In a random universe we can try to create a pattern but it will still be a construct of our mind’s tendency to want a pattern even where there is none.

The fear that Markell and her End Times nutters feel is real. That’s not the issue. It’s what they choose to fear. There’s enough to be afraid of in this world without making more stuff up.

Here’s the audio courtesy of Right Wing Watch:

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Featured image via Pixabay