Ammosexuals Caught Planning To Shoot ‘Em All At Pokemon World Championship

The Pokemon World Championship is currently being held in Boston, Massachusetts at this time. Hundreds of Pokemon Masters are gathered to test their mettle against each other, to see who will win this years prizes, including over $2 million in scholarships. What is notable this year however is not who wins, or how many attended, but in who was refused entry – two armed men who had decided on turning the championship into a shooting gallery.

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18-year-old Kevin Norton and 27-year-old James Stumbo had driven to Boston from Iowa after posting their intent for “killing the competition” to social media. You see, James Stumbo is a noted Pokemon Master and was invited to the exclusive event. They were stopped by event security as they attempted to enter the gathering and later were picked up by Boston police. Investigation found that the two men were preparing to enter the championship with hundreds of rounds of ammunition an assault rifle and a pump action shotgun stored in their car (seen above sporting an NRA and JAX sticker proudly). BPD Bureau of Intelligence and Analysis Commander Superintendent Paul Fitzgerald commented on the arrest.

The relationship between police and private sector security is important in both our community policing philosophy, as well as our counter-terrorism strategy. This incident is a good example of private security reaching out to their local Boston police district and relaying information to detectives and BRIC analysts in order to identify the very real threat.

The Pokemon Company issued this statement once they were made aware of the arrests and the two men’s intentions.

“Prior to the event this weekend, our community of players made us aware of a security issue. We gathered information and gave it as soon as possible to the authorities at the John B. Hynes Veterans Memorial Convention Center who acted swiftly and spearheaded communication with the Boston Police Department. Due to quick action, the potential threat was resolved. The Pokémon Company International takes the safety of our fans seriously and will continue to ensure proper security measures are a priority.”

For over a decade now, fundamentalists have targeted the cute video game animals, calling them satanic creatures, and the children who play it possessed. We can expect these calls to increase in the wake of a Pokemon master player engaging in such a plot.

For these two men to even joke about such a horrible act against their fellows is completely unfathomable. Thankfully for everyone, their plot was foiled thanks to someone paying attention to the warning signs. This terrorist plot was only narrowly foiled, thanks to all involved.

Featured image via Anime Club