The Greatest Case of Stand Your Ground That You’ll Ever See

Stand your ground: 'Zelda' fan stabs intruder with Link's Master Sword.

What happens when a jilted lover, a ‘Zelda’ fan, and Link’s Master Sword meet up in the state of Texas? The most hilarious ‘Stand Your Ground’ case ever. Photo of Link with his Master Sword and Zelda screen captured from “Legend of Zelda Rap” video by SMOSH!

People can undoubtedly get a little depressed as new “stand your ground” cases pop up on the radar on what’s beginning to seem like a weekly basis. The Trayvon Martin case brought this law, which studies have suggested has a racial bias, into the national limelight, but there was actually a full five-fold increase in stand your ground defenses in Florida alone between 2008 and 2011. It’s disheartening to dwell on these cases, so maybe a potential stand your ground case out of Texas is just what people need to brighten up their day.

This ‘Stand Your Ground’ case comes right out of a video game.

For people who have never played “The Legend of Zelda,” it might be hard to get a kick out of just how great this story is, but it still stands as a testament to a gamer who managed to protect himself from an onslaught with only the help of a replica sword from the Zelda games at his side. As with so many heroic stories, this tale began in an epic struggle with a fair princess in the middle.

Okay, maybe not a princess. Fine, not so fair either.

The first of March may have been like any other, but that wasn’t to be after Eugene Thompson and his girlfriend got into an argument. There’s been no report thus far that the heated discussion ever turned physical, but the ex-husband of the girlfriend, after getting a phone call from his former princess, decided to show up as if he was a knight in shining armor. Big mistake when a mythical sword from one of the most popular game franchises of all time is in the house.

It just got real.

Upon showing up at the house, the ex-husband is immediately let in by his former princess. So yes, this is different than the typical heroic storyline. In this instance, it seems the “damsel” was only causing problems between the good and bad guys of this story. Well, okay, that’s pretty much the story in every heroic tale, just in a different manner. And the damsel usually doesn’t invite the bad guy inside.

Upon being allowed in, the assailant immediately headed after the man of the house. Knowing that he may be in trouble, Thompson remembered that he had a replica Master Sword from Zelda in his closet. Thompson stated:

“I heard him heading to the bedroom where I was, so I jumped in the closet and I grabbed one of my replica swords, and I pulled it out and stood at the doorway, and he was coming down the hallway at me while I was yelling, ‘Go away, you don’t live here’ and he just walked right into the point of the sword. I don’t know if he thought it was a toy.”

That’s right: replica doesn’t mean fake. It didn’t really stop the estranged husband, who apparently hit the man of the house over the head with a flower pot, but he did end up getting stabbed in his chest and leg during the ensuing brawl.

Texas Law Says It’s Okay.

In actuality, there’s a variety of laws that will likely protect Thompson from charges, but since this article drew you here on the basis of the stand your ground law, here is the statute in Texas:

“A person who has a right to be present at the location where the force is used, who has not provoked the person against whom the force is used, and who is not engaged in criminal activity at the time the force is used is not required to retreat before using force as described by this section.”

Well, Thompson obviously had the legal right to be in his own home. Seems like he didn’t do much to provoke his assailant. Of course, even without the stand your ground law in the state, he would’ve likely had no duty to retreat in his own home; but hey, if we can say “stand your ground” in an article and still walk away knowing that no one died and with a smile on our face, it was a good day.