China: For American Business, A New Land Of Opportunity And Repression

China - For American Business, A New Land of Opportunity

U. S. business leaders discover a new land of opportunity: China! When it comes to working with communists green matters more than red. Freedom? Forget it! – Found on Sodahead

Imagine a land of opportunity where business could do as it pleased. What would that land look like? Besides, polluted, we mean.

In the land of opportunity, those at the top of society prosper.

First, there would be no labor unions.

  • Second, the work force would be docile (see above).
  • Safety regulations in the work place would be relaxed.
  • There would be no minimum wage. Or: the minimum would be so low as to be effectively meaningless.
  • There would be no ridiculous workers’ benefits to be paid.
  • Government officials would be not just willing but anxious to help business expand!
  • Emphasis on air and water safety would be reduced because worrying about the environment makes doing business hard.
  • Those at the top of society—who work so hard—would be fabulously rich. And docile workers would wait for rewards to trickle down.
  • Finally, major propaganda efforts would be launched to convince workers that, actually, they had it great. 

If you are thinking: “Hey, this sounds like Texas! And Fox News!” you are not even close. Sorry. No $100 cigar for you! Nope. The $100 cigar is for the boss or CEO or hard working corporate takeover specialists. Not for the worker who rolls it. Oh, no.

The secret can be found at Wal-Mart.

Where is this happy land of opportunity? Here’s a hint. Head to Wal-Mart. No, not because that giant company hates unions. No, not because Wal-Mart avoids paying for health care like its workers have plague. Stop that.

Look on the shelves. What do you see? “Made in China” labels on underwear and light bulbs. More of the same on electronics—on tools—and on toys. China! Land of opportunity! Also land of a totally repressive communist government! But, hey, a business person has got to do what a business person has got to do. Hold your nose with one hand and you still have another to stick out and grab a giant pile of dollars.

Or would it be renminbi?

Who cares! You’re getting rich! There are no unions in China. Unions—as every Tea Party member of Congress knows—are evil. Unions interfere with a business leader’s ability to set wages at a fair level, which is to say low. The average hourly wage of a U. S. worker is $23.32. God, don’t you hate greedy workers who want to remain in the middle class! Well, you know what Mitt Romney said. “Go West young corporate takeover specialist! Go West!” In China, the new land of opportunity, the average worker earns $1.36 per hour.

Land of opportunity–and a chance to work 100 hours of overtime every month. Because frankly your regular pay sucks!

Of course, a worker with a college degree in China isn’t cheap. No. These employees expect pay as high as $22…per day. 

What other great reasons are there for doing business in China? Land of land of land of opportunity, I say! Overtime rules? Feel free to ignore them! When Apple audited its own Chinese suppliers in 2011, they found “core violations” at 93 facilities, where “at least half of workers exceeded the 60-hours-a-week limit.” Even better, at dozens of factories “employees worked more than six days a week.” A hundred hours of overtime in a month was not rare, either—in large part because workers had no choice but to work incredible long hours to earn a decent paycheck every week.

Sure. There are hidden costs in any land of opportunity. Such as: bribing communist officials so they help your business grow. But what can a good capitalist do? If you are JPMorgan you shake hands with the devil and smile. You hire the sons and daughters of government officials and, presto, business opportunities appear! Your company makes a killing. And then you give your CEO a 74% raise. Why? Because Jamie Dimon works hard for his money. Twenty million dollars in compensation for 2013! That’s about right, can’t we all agree!

In the land of opportunity a red banner means green.

Is it your problem if communist authorities then arrest a lawyer who stood up against this very sort of corruption? Is it up to you to worry when that lawyer, who stood up for workers rights, is placed on trial for “disrupting public order?” No. It’s not! If your business partner happens to be waving the red banner and you still make plenty of green, well, all is right in the corporate-communist scheme of things. So, if Xu Zhiyong, 40, is sentenced to four years in prison, that’s not your problem. 

In a land of opportunity, this is what you get when you accuse communist leaders of…well…um…taking bribes.

Come on now. Haven’t we learned anything by listening to Fox Business News? President Obama? Now there’s a communist. And regulations that handcuff businesses are bad. Not one good regulation has been written since the time Moses hiked up the mountain. Well, not counting regulations to control women’s vaginas. Or block gay marriage.

Those regulations are great.

Pollution in a land of opportunity! So what if we can’t breathe!

Besides, who needs clean air? Not the people of Beijing! They live in a land of opportunity! Who cares if breathing is hard! Last January 12, the Air Quality Index in the Chinese capitol hit 755. How bad is that? A reading of 100 means air is “unhealthy for sensitive groups.” Pesky asthmatic children, for instance! At 400, air is “hazardous” for…uh…humans. 

So 755, that’s great!

Chemicals in rivers kill fish by the ton? Don’t you dare compare China and West Virginia! How about ammonia dumped in the Fuhe River by a chemical company? Check. Sixteen thousand dead pigs floating in the Huanpu River? Check. An offer of $25,000 to any communist official willing to swim for twenty minutes in rivers they’re responsible for keeping safe. Check.

Offer made. Offer not taken!

Let’s face it. In a land of opportunity the air may be unsafe to breathe. The water may not be safe to drink. Or make contact with! But business is good.

Want to know how good this system is? American companies have shipped 2.7 million jobs to China since 2001. Even the Wall Street Journal has to take note when members of the Communist Party Congress are billionaires! And Forbes has to at least bat a capitalist eye when listing Communist China’s 157 billionaires.

Still, all is right with the right-wing world. In a true land of opportunity, like China, communists and capitalists alike can have it great.