‘Epic Fail’: Rick Perry’s ‘Strong’ a Dichotomy of What is Wrong With American Christianity

Let’s face it – Governor Rick Perry (R-Texas) is one drunken gaffe away from riding the “Cain Train” to the political sidelines, where he will be expected to reluctantly offer his official endorsement to one of the lesser evils to be spewed from the proverbial elephant’s ass.


But still, it is hard not to react when such bigoted jackassery is pedaled to American voters and – as we all know it happens – wins over the hearts of those inclined to lend their voting arms to the candidate with the loudest “yee-haa!” charisma over intelligence (see “America, Fuck Yeah!”, courtesy of the South Park/Team America folks).

“Intended for a Western Iowa audience of religious conservatives and evangelicals — the only people who matter to the GOP candidates for the next month — the ad ran into an inherent audience problem when posted on YouTube with the like/dislike buttons enabled. The apparently more pro-gay rights audience online quickly seized on the spot to register its dislike of Perry’s message.

“By Thursday morning, the ad had received more than 137,000 dislikes to just over 3,000 likes. By any metric, that’s a video that’s gone viral – as an epic fail. – TheAtlantic.com

Most – on the Left and Right – have seen this little tidbit from the collective mind of the Rick Perry campaign team and have hence formed their own opinions on it (video below). Here, then, is mine.

What a typically non-surprising, dumbed-down load of crap. The frighteningly irrational, illogical, grossly marginal jibberish coming from this man’s mouth is mind-numbing (although, maybe that’s the point?).

Governor Perry, pay attention. For that matter, if you happen to support Perry, or anyone like him, pull up a chair.

It is not – nor has it ever been and nor should it ever be – important to the survival and prosperity of the American nation that you are, in fact, a Christian. You are pandering to the same collective ass-hattery that ridiculously accuses President Barack Obama of being a “secret Muslim” Kenyan and thereby forced a then candidate Obama to reluctantly submit his card-carrying membership to Christianity as a half-hearted gesture akin to saying “Yeah, sure whatever. Will you vote for me now, idiots?”

At this point in American culture, declaring yourself as a Christian as a selling point for your nomination is as specific and significant as saying that you are, in fact, not an antelope.

When one’s own political party – the one from which a presidential nomination you are feverishly vying and that holds a larger-than-life bias toward Christianity over any other faith – argues in favor of point-specific memes that directly contradict the actual teachings and gospel of Jesus Christ, saying “I am a Christian and that is why I would make a good president” just does not make historical sense.

Though, as we have seen in recent years, the Republican party and its politicos – specifically those which rally behind the notion of a “one God nation” – tend to “edit” history to suit a modern narrative and support a far more self-serving narrative than Jesus himself would have ever condoned.

As Christians, Perry and his ilk should be far less concerned with whether or not gays should be allowed in the military and more worried about what the hell our military is doing deployed in every corner of the world in the first place – spending trillions of dollars that would otherwise be used to secure our economy and benefit social welfare programs (that Jesus would just loooove).

They should carry on just a bit more quietly about some ridiculous claim of martyrdom – pretending to be the victims of persecution in make-believe “wars” on Christmas and prayer in schools – and perhaps focus more on Jesus’ own teachings of love, peace and compassion for all.

Whining that a holiday celebrated by nearly 250 million people (76% of country) is under attack is complete nonsense. Opting out of installing a nativity scene on government property is not censorship or a vile attack on American values. It is not a declaration of a “culture war.” It is a mutual respect – as established by the nation’s forefathers – for the remaining 24% of the country who is NOT Christian yet all as much the patriotic Americans as those whom worship Jesus.

And to that point, how about nixing the arguments altogether – as each remains poignantly irrelevant to politics or the multiple plights currently facing the nation while insisting on the ridiculously yet largely unchallenged bias that evokes only one religion as a “catch-all” for religious freedom (ie: if “prayer” is sanctioned in public schools, can Muslims join in?).

Under that banner (Right is right, right?), there are still no correlations between the gay community, military readiness and children (other than they too once were kids with straight parents). There is, however, the problems of supposedly asexual Christian ministry force-fucking little kids behind the church altar, and heterosexual gang-rapes on battlefields overseas.

But that is another post. Or posts.


Here, though, we as gullible American voters are treated to a sampling of the religious Right’s most intrinsic memes surrounding the long-standing survival of our country: gays are coming for our kids, atheists want to ruin Christmas, the government nor our political/military allies are each  no place for brown people, etc.

But the highlight – for me anyway – is the video’s title: Strong.

Really, Perry? That’s it? That’s you being “Strong” – vowing to ward off brave, patriotic homosexuals and protect the sanctity of Christmas? With everything else there is to talk about – everything else being faced by Americans throughout the country – you went with gays and Jingle Bells?

It will be interesting to see just how well this plays in Perry’s crowd, as I am sure it will.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PAJNntoRgA]

– Joe Ascanio

Based out of Greater New York, Joe Ascanio is a full time web designer, developer and marketing guy working in the online technology marketplace. OneWhiteDuck.com is a semi-personal blog devoted to opinionated rantings over current events, politics and pop culture as they relate to our modern-day society.

Follow  on Twitter @onewhiteduck as well as his personal feed @joeascanio.