34 Unbelievable Things Fox ‘News’ Fans Might Believe

Are you pulling your hair out over Republican hypocrisy and deception? You need some comedic relief! Read 34 quips that Fox “News” fans might think are true.

  1. Larry Craig has a wide stance.
  2. Going shirtless on Craigslist will improve your sex life.
  3. God hates [insert any minority group slur here].
  4. The fact that on a clear day you can see a remote Russian island from remote Western Alaska translates to Sarah Palin has foreign policy experience.
  5. Liberals are greedy.
  6. Seniors will be able to buy all the insurance they need for $6,000/year.
  7. When Michele Bachmann says she wants to “wean everybody off Medicare,” she really means preserve it for future generations.
  8. Giving tax cuts to the wealthy will create jobs and trickle down to the middle class.
  9. George W. Bush was a great president and a competent leader.
  10. Saddam Hussein helped plan 9/11.
  11. Sarah Palin could win the presidential election, this time.
  12. Obama’s “spending spree” caused the national deficit crisis.
  13. Prominent Republicans (such as Bachmann, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan) are principled on policy and fair on taxes.
  14. Obama was born in Kenya, faked his Hawaii birth certificate and planted his birth announcement in two Hawaiian newspapers.
  15. Having a gay teacher or friend can make your kids gay.
  16. Sputnik caused the collapse of the Soviet Union.
  17. The Soviet Union still exists today.
  18. A Perry/Palin 2012 win would be good for America.
  19. Obama threatened to stop Social Security payments.
  20. Glenn Beck is a prophet and, now that he’s off the air, a martyr.
  21. Democrats are using voting fraud to steal the next election.
  22. If global warming exists, which it doesn’t, it’s a sign of God’s wrath – not the result of carbon emissions.
  23. The apocalypse is on its way, any day now…it just keeps getting put on rain delay.
  24. Abortions account for more than 90% of Planned Parenthood’s services.
  25. There are no American Muslims, or there shouldn’t be.
  26. Obama is a Muslim and somehow related to Osama – the phonetic link proves it.
  27. Republicans were smart to take the debt ceiling hostage to force spending cuts, never mind the soft economy.
  28. It would be okay for a female President to unswervingly “submit” to her non-elected husband.
  29. Obama has raised taxes on the working class…or on everyone.
  30. The 10 Commandments are a complete guide to morality.
  31. Creationism theory is as equally valid as evolution science.
  32. Greed on the part of insurance companies isn’t responsible for higher premiums – Obamacare is.
  33. The Tea Party is a people’s movement.
  34. The Republicans are working to create jobs.

  35. This list is a work in progress! Add your own “Unbelievable Thing Fox News Fans Might Believe” line below and we may include it in the sequel!


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