BREAKING NEWS: God Speaks Out Against The Right-Wing

Conservatives have used God and religion to advance their political power for decades, and God is finally speaking out. The Lord Almighty granted me an exclusive surprise interview on Sunday morning around 3am. I, of course, was terrified, yet intrigued that I was chosen to be God’s scribe. So I leapt out of bed, as God commanded, and we congregated at my humble kitchen table.

God seemed tormented while pulling up a chair. I meekly inquired if anything was wrong and God replied that, indeed there was. It turns out that God has been watching the Republican Party for some time and is disturbed by what is occurring. So now the Lord wants to set the record straight. What follows is a transcript of an exclusive one on one interview between me and the Lord.

FOSTER: So, how many questions am I allowed to ask, Lord?

GOD: Well, my child, I am a very busy, omnipotent being so thou shalt ask only 13 questions.

FOSTER: Fine by me. First question: Why are you angry with conservatives? I thought you would appreciate their efforts to infuse you into politics.

GOD: I am angry because they twist religion to spread hate and fear. Hate and fear are not Christian values. I never intended for my children to use me to gain power over others.

FOSTER: So you don’t agree with their crusade against Muslims?

GOD: Absolutely not. I am a God of many religions. To the Muslims, I am Allah. To the Christians, I am God. To the Jews, I am Jehovah. To some, I am the Creator. To others, a Supreme Being. So you see, the Muslims are my children too. And I am against people killing my creations in my name.

FOSTER: That makes sense, but what about homosexuals? Do you agree with what the Christian right-wing says about them?

GOD: No. I am very disappointed in the way these “Christians” treat them. As you know, I love everyone. No matter their religion, gender, color, creed, or sexual orientation. I love homosexuals and heterosexuals equally and unconditionally. They are my children, made in my image. People often misinterpret the Bible to justify their hatred of groups of people. The Bible was written by men, who are not infallible beings. Homosexual behavior is appropriate within the confines of a committed, loving, monogamous, lifelong and God-loving relationship. And if they still object to homosexuality, the Bible also says to ‘love thy neighbor’, to ‘judge not lest ye be judged’, and to ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. In other words, stop being hateful. Only I am allowed to pass judgment.

FOSTER: That’s the way I’ve always thought about it. Thank you for clearing that up.

GOD: You are welcome.

FOSTER: So, how do you feel about the war being waged against the poor and needy by the right-wing and the wealthy?

GOD: I am disgusted by it. As you know, my one and only son was not a man of wealth. Yet, he healed the sick and fed the needy, all for free. I also find it egregiously hypocritical that these people rail homosexuality based upon how they read the Bible. Yet they seem to have ignored the part that said to share with the poor and care for the sick.

FOSTER: What would you say to those who would oppress the poor?

GOD: Woe to those who enact evil statutes, and to those who continually record unjust decisions so as to deprive the needy of justice and rob the poor of My people of their rights… Now what will you do in the day of punishment, and in the devastation which will come from afar?

FOSTER: Wow, that’s intense.

GOD: Those who seek to strip rights from those with the least deserve nothing less. Taking care of the poor and sick is a moral obligation among humankind.

FOSTER: How do you feel about the white majority of the right wing’s attempts to discriminate against people of color?

GOD: I abhor each and every attempt to oppress those of color. My son, Jesus, is a man of brown skin. Would they discriminate against him also? I would hope not because I made all men and women in my image. They are all my children and I love them all equally. No one should hate another because of the color of their skin.

FOSTER: What do you want Republicans to do?

GOD: I want them to practice true Christian values, and to stop using me to capture political power. I am not to be a pawn in political games. I want them to stop fighting for greed and start fighting for what is best for EVERYONE. I want them to especially fight for the poor and sick, and for equal rights. I am a  just God, therefore Republicans should strive to be just.

FOSTER: How do you feel about separation of church and state?

GOD: I’m all for it. Some people use religion for the wrong reasons. Many abuse it to justify horrible policies such as enslaving people and legislating personal lives. Religions have also used governments to persecute people who practice other religions. Governments have waged wars because of religion for centuries. The earth is literally soaked with the blood of millions of my children because religion controlled the government.

Church leaders should focus more on spreading my word, doing good deeds and promoting peace and love, instead of trying to control people. I gave people free will. It is up to each individual whether they believe or not. You cannot force people to believe. That is NOT true enlightenment. Politicians must be able to meet the needs of everyone. Not everyone is a Christian, not everyone is a Jew, and not everyone is a Muslim. Each individual practices their faith differently. Favoring one religion over another would only lead to violence, discrimination, persecution and hate, all of which I reject.

FOSTER: How do you feel about science?

GOD: I LOVE science! Science requires you to have an open mind, which I am sad to say, many Christians today do not have. I created science, so I am disappointed that many Christians have rejected it. Faith is a wonderful thing, but science can tell you many equally wonderful things that religion cannot.

FOSTER: So, how do you feel about religion in schools?

GOD: Religion belongs in church. Although it has a role to play in the community, as I stated earlier, you cannot force religion on people. They must choose and decide for themselves. Finding faith is a journey. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime to find it. I do not believe in prayer in schools. Prayer is a personal conversation that belongs in church and in the home. Although, if one wishes to pray to me silently, I’m always listening.

FOSTER: Okay, I really want to ask you this question. Michele Bachmann claims that you told her to run for the Presidency, is that true?

GOD: OMG! No, I told her to run away. I can’t get her screechy voice out of my head, she’s crazy.

FOSTER: What about Rick Perry and his claim that you told him to run?

GOD: I’m sorry, who are you talking about?

FOSTER: Never mind,  I guess I have one more question to ask then. What is your vision of America?

GOD: That’s a great question. I have been watching America, with great interest, since the beginning. I’ve not always agreed with decisions that Americans have made but have been uniquely impressed by their continuing belief in hope, justice, freedom, and equality. Americans, for more than 60 years now, have made great efforts to care for the poor, the sick, the elderly, and for others around the world. But now, the morality of caring for these people is divided. Those who distort religion think the poor and sick have no rights and that they should be ostracized, while true Christians stand by those in need and fight for them valiantly and unselfishly.

If Americans truly love me, they will share with the poor, for I identify with the poor and put myself in their place. Will they not share with me? Will they not clothe me? Will they not feed me? Will they not shelter me? Will they not heal me when sick? Americans have also shown real promise in the area of equality. There is no such thing as an inferior human being. Whether you are black, white, brown, yellow, man, woman, gay or straight, young or old, Jewish, Islamic or Christian, you were made in my image. Discrimination against any person is discrimination against me. America’s future will be determined by how they treat people. And they had better choose wisely, for I am always watching.

FOSTER: Amen. Thank you for letting me interview you, Lord. I’m grateful and humbled.

And with that, the interview had come to an end. God wanted to speak out because it had become painfully apparent that the Christian-right didn’t represent true Christianity. Republicans have been using God to advance an agenda of hate, fear, and lies. True Christians do not hate or scare people, and they certainly do not seek to control the population. The Lord commands us to love and take care of each other. We would be wise to choose love over hate.

Edited By: Alexis Atherton