Where is the Proof that Obama is even Human?

Tex Shelters here, and I want to address the most important issue facing Americans. I am not talking about the war on Christmas that happens every summer when stores sell things like bathing suits, sunscreen and beach towels and completely ignores the blessed birth of Christ in the winter. No, I am talking about Obama’s status as a human on this planet.

The Donald, Mr. Trump, has clearly proven that Obama has no birth certificate, or at least he’s proved that making things up about the Dread Socialist Obama is a way to motivate the Republican base to support your possible run for the Republican nomination for President.  (link to poll)

Conservative comedian Nick DiPaolo, who hates the made up term birther but loves the made up term Obamacare, even questioned Obama’s education by asking for someone who went to law school with Obama to come forward and prove the President attended school. (Click here to see the paranoid DiPaolo’s “comedy”.)

I hope that Mr. DiPaolo runs for president too since he is as wise and logical as The Donald, and he’s so edgy and confident in his stereotyping of those he disagrees with like other great Americans from Coulter, to Ayn Rand, to Limbaugh and Savage. Thus, I throw my hat into the ring of possible potential presidential candidates if everything goes my way as well. And I also demand proof of things from Obama.

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First, I want to see a copy of Obama’s physical examinations to prove that he is human. The Constitution clearly states that you must be a human to be president, and I have yet to see proof that Obama is. Why won’t any of Obama’s supposed doctors come forward? Perhaps he’s not really a human?

Why hasn’t Michelle Obama come forward with proof Obama is really a man. How do we know that Obama didn’t have a sex change and was really a woman? What proof do we really have? Until I see a photo of Obama’s penis, I can’t believe Obama’s a man. Why won’t Obama come forward with his penis?

How do we know that Obama isn’t a mixture of alien and human DNA? Where are the tests that prove Obama’s DNA is fully human and not mixed in with the DNA from the 1947 alien autopsy in Roswell New Mexico? We won’t know until a full analysis of Obama’s DNA is completed.

Obama may be a hologram. How do we really know he’s not a projection from a science project Soviet Madman Stalin started in the 1950s and his projection is here to destroy us all? Until we get directors Michael Bay and James Cameron to investigate this possible special effect, we have no proof Obama’s NOT a hologram. Maybe the Trilateral Commission created this Holobamagram, or the Bilderberg Group.

Certainly we know that Obama went to a radical communist fascist black power Christian church for years, but is he really a Christian? Until Jesus Christ comes back and tells us that Obama is a Christian, we will never really know. Why won’t Jesus Christ come forward with the proof of Obama’s Christianity?

Obama could be a figment of our imagination or a mass delusion created by the fluoride in our water. There is no way to disprove this, and thus it could be true.

We need more proof about Obama, or we will keep making up things about Obama to discredit him or until it no longer haunts us to have a black president.

Tex Shelters for President, 2012, maybe.

Peace,
Tex Shelters